


Subtlety

by grethan-allmance (Sapphire09)



Series: Grethan Drabbles [7]
Category: The Dolan Twins, Video Blogging RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-11-27 18:35:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18197831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sapphire09/pseuds/grethan-allmance
Summary: Ethan gave his heart to Grayson while keeping his lips locked tight. He gave wordless gestures of affection Grayson would never suspect as anything more than platonic. He let himself linger in his touches because Grayson would let him, but he won't ever know they weren't just brotherly love.The art of subtleties was Ethan's language. It was the one language Grayson couldn't always understand. It was Ethan's safety guard.





	Subtlety

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like there probably should be something like a trigger warning. Like, I think Ethan is kinda manipulative in here. 
> 
> I personally think it's not in a triggering way? More like scheming, really. But, just a heads up anyway.

Ethan liked to think of himself as someone who understands subtlety. He could always hear the double meaning of spoken words, of what a seemingly innocent action could otherwise mean. He could understand the insinuation behind a seemingly innocent phrase. It was something he always had grasped better than Grayson does, seeing the double meanings and sarcasm. Though, he thought that was only because Grayson has a more honest nature, personality-wise, than him. He knew he was always a little bit more devious and secretive compared to Grayson.

There were times when those subtleties escaped Grayson. It wasn't because he was stupid or anything, but because he was a person who wore his heart on his sleeve. Ethan had watched how his brother got hurt because of it, but it still wasn't something Grayson was capable of changing. It simply wasn't in his nature. Ethan would like Grayson to take care of himself a little bit more, be more guarded around people, but he wouldn't want Grayson to change either. 

So, Ethan learned to guard his heart a little tighter to his chest, a little closer, more hidden away because he didn't want to get hurt.

Grayson was the only one that has unlimited access to that. Though, he didn't think his twin understood how much power he has over Ethan's heart.

Ethan liked it that way. Grayson didn't need to know. After all, it was  _terrifying_.

It scared him sometimes how Grayson could easily change his mood. He could feel happy, then suddenly become sad because Grayson was sad. He could feel like the pressure of the world coming around him, then feel relieved because Grayson said something stupid and made him laugh. He could be annoyed and angry at Grayson, but still, he wouldn't ever wish to be apart from him.

It probably wasn't healthy to have his continued happiness hanging on Grayson's continued presence. It wasn't fair either for his brother. After all, they couldn't be together forever. Though, Ethan knew he'd make sure they'll be together for as long as they can.

If it can be forever, then that is the dream life Ethan has.

Ethan acknowledged the selfishness of that dream. But, that was how it was. Ethan couldn't control what he wanted. It just happens to be Grayson, in whatever way he can have him.

Ethan gave his heart to Grayson while keeping his lips locked tight. He gave wordless gestures of affection Grayson would never suspect as anything more than platonic. He let himself linger in his touches because Grayson would let him, but he won't ever know they weren't just brotherly love.

The art of subtleties was Ethan's language. It was the one language Grayson couldn't always understand. It was Ethan's safety guard.

He could look at Grayson and see the love of his life. When Grayson looked back and see him staring, he would ask,

"What? Is there something on my face?"

and tried to look down. He would make the most ridiculous face and Ethan can reach out a hand and touch.

"Yeah," he would lie, fingers moving to brush away the imagined 'something'. "You have so much stupid on your face."

Ethan would grin when Grayson glowered. His hand can linger longer, an absent caress that Grayson wouldn't notice its meaning. Grayson would think Ethan was messing with him, as a brother does.

The right thing to do was to let Grayson know of his feeling. If this was anyone else, he would do that, instead of the  _subtleties_  (a.k.a. creeping) he was doing. After all, Ethan knew how manipulative he was being. Beneath the innocent gestures, there were  _intentions._ The double meaning Grayson has a right to know.

But, this is Grayson.

This is his  _brother._

' _This is fine_ ,' he thought to himself, feeling content in what he thought as stolen touches. After all, the alternative was depriving himself of said touches. Like this, it was like he got his daily dosage, controlling his urges for taking more than he should. 

Like this, Grayson will touch him back. His affection was more platonic but no less intense, no less  _affectionate_. Sure, sometimes he had to refuse them, or he'd take too much. He couldn't get too complacent. He had to keep himself from getting too greedy.

Like this, Ethan could continue to pretend he didn't want to taste his brother's lips with his tongue for another day.

 

 

Though, maybe he could start with a little subliminal encouragement anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> Random ass drabble. Somewhat a continuation to 'Sunlight', if you wanna see it like that. Though I didn't plan it to.


End file.
